Can't Stop Loving You
by Nocturnal Muse
Summary: All I seem to do is wait. I waited ten years for Aoshi-sama. You know, I just want to see him. I miss him." A cute little Aoshi Misao fic. AU, modern day. From Misao's viewpoint.
1. Everywhere But Here

Can't Stop Loving You

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Ok, well, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, but this fic came from me. At very late hours in the night. Yeah... So, now that that's said, on to the first chapter!

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Chapter 1 - Everywhere but Here

This is a story of love and loss.

Of innocence and desire.

Secrets and betrayals.

There is no hero, but the villain is Separation and Loneliness.

This, sadly, is my story.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

My name is Makimachi Misao. I am a modern day ninja. Keyword being modern. Second is ninja. Well, maybe ninja should be first, seeing as it covers the main ideas.

Espionage, stealth, blending in to the surroundings and crowds, combat...things ninja do. I know all of this. That's ninja.

Modern day ninja know these things and more. With all of the technological advances, we've adapted. Among other small time things, we are pretty good at computer hacking. If information was on a computer, we can find it.

We hire out to some of the higher powers. It's how we live, how we survive.

As modern day ninja, we kinda live double lives. I go to school, hand out with friends, go shopping, see movies. The older ninja have jobs like an normal person.

Maybe this information is irrelevant, but I think it lays out the reason that this story is. It also shows a little of what I know, so you know what I'm capable of.

To start off this story, I should probably start at the beginning. How I got wrapped into this.

Well, my parents were at least slightly involved with the ninja group in my area. The Oniwabanshu. Shortly after I was born, my parents died. Now, I don't know the details, just that they died, but I digress.

I was taken in by Okina's group, which consisted of several other ninja in training, including the prodigy Shinomori Aoshi. I mention this because it must be known. Aoshi practically raised me. Well, until he left.

That was the point in time where I found out what it was to be a ninja and to be hired out.

I was six, in the height of my training. A small skirmish broke out, and the Oniwabanshu were requested as spies. I didn't really understand, being six, just that, one morning, I woke up and Aoshi and the rest were gone.

I was alone for a year, waiting. Alone but for Jiya. That's what I call Okina.

I started school like I was supposed to, but I wasn't in it to make friends. It was just my mission.

During the summer, the skirmish ended. Aoshi and the rest (those that survived) came home.

Aoshi declared that there was no need for an entire group of ninja in today's society, so those that could, left. Pretty much everyone was able to move on, take up the jobs they used for cover as full time jobs. But, there were those of us who couldn't. Those of us who had nothing else. Han'nya, Beshimi, Hyottoko, Shikijo. Aoshi and I. We were all that stayed.

During that summer, we trained continuously. I knew there was no need for me to learn the skills, but it was so much fun! When school started back up, I joined in the training after I finished my homework.

One day, I came home, and Aoshi had a letter in his hands. For some reason, Okina told me to skip homework. Aoshi let us have a fun lesson. We tried to keep a paper ball in the air. Aoshi tucked me in that night. We all had breakfast the next day. Aoshi even walked me to school.

And when I got home, he was gone. The other four were too, but what affected me the most was that Aoshi was gone.

That's the distant past. Well, not a far distant past, but the past is the past.

Now, I am sixteen. I'm short and underdeveloped, but I've learned to let that go.

I hang out with a small group of friends. We all enjoy fighting in our own ways. Call us old fashioned, but it's true.

My best friend is Kamiya Kaoru. We met in junior high, and we clicked instantly. Kaoru can be violent at times, but she's usually well controlled. Against her, you have to dodge a boken, basically a wooden sword. Usually one of us has to stop the other from doing something stupid. It's stuff like that that makes us best friends.

Then, there's Takani Megumi. Megumi is older than Kaoru and me, so she adds an older woman's outlook to our group. She often says harsh things, but it always seems to be true. Megumi actually doesn't fight (not technically) but she's training to be a doctor, so she helps us out that way.

Since we're in high school, it's not hard to believe that they're seeing a couple of guys.

Kaoru is dating a guy with red hair. It's so red, that that's the first thing I can think about. The next is that he's kinda girly, but not really. The next is that he's strong. The guy's name is Himura Kenshin. His personality is a little off. There are moments where he gets broody and really serious. He's scary like that. But, normally he's kind and good natured. And he disappears sometimes. I can't even find out where he goes, which is pretty good on his part.

Megumi's boyfriend is way weirder though. I heard tell that he was in a gang until Kenshin beat the shit out of him, then the two became friends. Sagara Sanosuke, aka bird head, because of his hair. He's a tough one, all brawn, little brains. He thinks with his stomach, his fists, then his balls, in that order.

As for me, I'm still single. With the way I've always heard love described, there's only one man for me. I've looked, I've thought of dating, but none of the guys I meet are right for me.

Only Aoshi, and I haven't seen him in ten years. I wish I could see him again. It would be easier for me to find out how I feel if I could be around him. I know I love him, but it might just be the way a sister feels towards her older brother.


	2. You're the Only Place

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 2 - You're the Only Place

Ten years after Aoshi left. As sad as it is, I find it easier to gage time by putting it in those terms.

Anyway, the day was normal. A lunch like every other lunch. Kaoru and I were chatting about anything. Sano and Megumi were bickering over some stupid thing or another, while Kenshin was trying to keep the peace.

The normal disappeared quickly. One little tweak and normal died. Bye bye normal. See ya later.

The little tweak happened as the school secretary walked up. That's bad in general.

"Shit, I didn't do it!" Sano exclaims, disappearing behind Kenshin.

Everyone around us fall silent. They want to know who's in trouble.

"Makimachi Misao, you have a phone call in the office," the secretary states plainly. It's as if she doesn't understand that she's murdering the normal day.

The stability in the world cracked. The walk to the office was slow. A weight settled in my gut. Impending doom sucks. The phone receiver was heavy as I picked it up and held it to my ear.

I waited. "Hello?" I ask tentatively.

"Yes, Makimachi Misao?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"It's about Kashiwazaki Nenji. There's been an accident. He's in critical condition. He's alive, but it's going to be a hard fight. We're doing all we can."

Now the world was dumb and broken. I could do nothing. My brain was barely working.

"Misao?"

I jump. I had forgotten there was a phone. "Yes?"

"Is there a private number we can reach you at? Incase anything happens?"

"Yeah. The school has it." Cuz I sure as hell can't remember my cell number. I'm still stuck at the first part, that Jiya was in critical condition.

"You can stop by anytime."

"Ok. Thanks."

I put the phone down so that they can get everything squared away. I just stand there, staring blankly at the object that the bad news had come from. I was startled a second time when the secretary put her hand on my shoulder. When a professional ninja is startled twice in a day, let alone within the hour, things are bad. The secretary leads me out of the office.

The bell had rung while I was in the office. I barely noticed that the halls were empty. As I enter the class room, I get questioning glances. I don't allow them to register in my numbed brain as I go and sit in my seat.

Kaoru texts me as soon as the class resumed. _What's up?_

_Jiya's been in an accident._

_How is he?_

_Critical._

_Wat r u doin here thn? _It's easy to tell how worried Kaoru is because she switched to serious shorthand. Kaoru rarely does that.

_I can't drive..._

_O... jus a sec._

A break.

_Meg'll drive._

The rest of the day passed slowly. I couldn't concentrate on anything in front of me.

School let out. Kaoru led me to Megumi's car and explained the situation quickly.

The car ride to the hospital was quiet, save for the light background noise that Megumi had playing off of the radio.

She dropped me off in front of the hospital. She had somewhere she needed to be, but I could call her if/when I needed a ride home.

I went into the building. Being there assured me of the realness of the situation. I almost felt sick.

At the front desk, I was directed to an upper level. At that level, I was told that Jiya was just out of surgery and was led to a room.

I waited patiently as Jiya was wheeled into the room. He was covered in bandages, like a mummy.

"How..." I start, directing my attention to one of the doctors.

"We don't know. Someone found him, almost dead. It's all we got."

Stupid doctors.

The doctors left after their patient was situated. I sit and wait for Jiya to come to. And I wait and wait and wait. Waiting sucks.

Finally, after who knows how long, Jiya starts stirring.

"Jiya," I call softly, stepping forward.

"Misao-chan, it's nice to see you."

"What happened, Jiya?"

He shook his head. I frown. Simple as that?

"Jiya..."

He sighs. "I was attacked...by a demon...called Aoshi."

The world shatters. "It can't be. Not our Aoshi..." I start.

"Our Aoshi, Misao. He's no longer ours."

I feel empty and numb again. Jiya eases up. He says something, but I'm not listening.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Later that day finds me sitting in the waiting room. I had no desire to return to an empty house. Jiya wasn't quite out of the woods yet, so the employees let me stay. I hadn't wanted to stay in the room with Jiya sleeping, so, that's why I'm in the waiting room. Absolutely alone.

I couldn't figure it out. Aoshi had tried to kill Jiya. Why? What reason did he have? These thoughts were my only company. At first, I had to fight back tears. But I remained strong and I managed not to. My thoughts kept coming quicker, trying to figure things out.

Until...

"Misao-dono?"

I look up to see Kenshin standing before me. His violet eyes were filled with curiosity and concern.

"Kenshin, what are you doing here?" I ask, surprised.

"This one is here merely for a checkup, that it is. What about you, Misao-dono?"

Kenshin's reason was boring. "My Jiya almost died. He was attacked."

"This one is sorry to hear that."

"I've been waiting all day for him..." I stop. I don't know if I want to continue or not.

"Is that so?"

And because Kenshin prompted me, I did go on.

"All I seem to do is wait. I'm waiting for Jiya right now. I waited ten years for Aoshi-sama. You know, I just want to see him. I miss him. He was like an older brother to me." I feel the weight behind what I was saying. I felt pathetic saying it. I was just a pathetic looser who sits and waits for things. For the one I love. I feel the tears start. They aren't those big tears, just little ones. Depressing ones. Ones just as pathetic as me.

"Misao-dono..." Kenshin puts and arm around my shoulder, attempting to comfort me.

I look to him. "I still want to see Aoshi-sama. He tried to kill Jiya, but I still want to see him. Is that bad?"

Kenshin paused. I could feel a change in the air, that iciness that comes when he's getting broody. Was it something about killing, or did he just catch on to Aoshi's name? It was there a moment, then gone.

"If he means that much to you Misao-dono, then it does not matter. Things will be difficult, but you can handle them, that you can," Kenshin decides. He gives a little smile. It's reassuring, not happy. It makes me feel slightly better.

"You think?"

Kenshin nods.

"Right now I just want to know why."

"Why will come." He looks down to his watch. "Look at the time. This one must be going now." He starts to leave.

"Kenshin!" I call after him.

He turns to look. "He will come back to you. I promise."

As he leaves, I whisper my thanks. I was thankful that he heard me out, thankful that he tried to reassure me, that it was fine that I felt the way I did.

I have a feeling that Kenshin knows more than he's letting on.


	3. Carry On

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 3 - Carry On

A couple weeks passed. Jiya recovered nicely. The doctors wanted to keep him there a while longer incase something went wrong.

Since I knew Kenshin knew more, I tried to figure it out, but Kenshin was as elusive as ever.

Then, Friday night, Kaoru calls me up, crying. I rush to meet her at the Denny's down the street. Megumi's already there.

We tried to comfort her as best we could as we found out what was going on. Kaoru was supposed to meet Kenshin here three hours ago. Kenshin had planned it, needlessly reminded her about it, but he hadn't shown up. She had called his cell several times, but it was off. She said she knew it would happen sometime, but it still hurt.

We continue to comfort Kaoru. By the end of dinner, Megumi decided Kaoru would go home with her, where they would talk about how stupid men were while watching some movie that proved that someone else's life sucked more than Kaoru's day.

I decided to pass. I have no guy to mention stupid with and even less inclination to watch some random chick flick. I prefer dark horror flicks or action movies.

So, this left me walking home at o-dark-thrity at night. The air was cold, like a fall night. It was a little strange, but I don't mind.

Something called to me. One second I was heading home, the next I wasn't. There was an odd force, tugging me away from home. Forces like that change lives.

Having nothing else better to do, I follow it. The feeling led me to a vacant parking structure. Empty because it was o-dark-thrity at night.

I was standing outside for a few seconds when I heard it. It was an echo that sounded like the clash of steel. Wondering if I had happened upon a fight, I crept forward cautiously.

I entered the building and continued on, following the clanging sounds. They grew louder as I got further in. Curiosity and excitement spurred me to go faster.

I turned a corner and stopped. There stood Aoshi and Kenshin, blades drawn.

I couldn't move, had no desire to. It was amazing, even if it didn't make any sense.

The two clashed a couple times. Aoshi seemed to have the upper hand and he kept pushing Kenshin back.

Something worried me. There was a strange look in Aoshi's eyes. They didn't look blue. It made him look slightly demonic. Madness?

I realized I might not be safe if I were noticed so I took refuge behind one of those big pillar supports. I peeked out from behind it to watch.

They continued to fight.

Kenshin spoke. "Aoshi, you certainly have become stronger. But you have become a demon."

"I told you before. To defeat you, I will become anything."

Kenshin broke away. He held his sword down, showing he didn't want to fight. However, I could still tell Kenshin was ready to defend if need be. He looked sad. "By becoming a demon, you are betraying those four."

I was officially confused. What was Kenshin saying, betraying those four. Where were they? And how in the seven hells did Kenshin know?

Aoshi attacked again. Kenshin was barely able to block, shrugging off the attack, allowing himself to be pushed back further.

"They only wanted you to live happily, Aoshi. Can you honestly tell me that you are?"

Aoshi lashed out again. He was angry about what Kenshin was saying.

I'm still confused, but I have a hypothesis forming. The other four would not be coming home.

"And what about Misao-dono? Have you forgotten about her?"

Why pull me into this?

Aoshi paused. "Misao is strong. She doesn't need me any more."

Those words hurt. I could feel tears prickle at the corner of my eyes. My legs give out and I slide to the ground.

I longed to shout out. I wanted to have it known that it wasn't true, that I needed him beside me. But my voice stuck in my throat.

"She does need you Aoshi. She's waited these ten long years for you. She will wait many more if you make her."

I would too. Somehow, Kenshin knows this. Thankfully he voices it.

"Don't lie to me!" Aoshi shouts. It echos loudly. He attacks again, backhanding Kenshin across the face.

Kenshin flinches, but makes no attempt to dodge. He recovers his balance and continues speaking. "We talked. She told this one she wanted to see you again. You said she was strong, that she doesn't need you. She cried when she thought of you not being there."

"Don't talk as if you know things." Aoshi brought his kodachi up, meaning to attack once again. As the blade came down, Kenshin caught it with his bare hand. He held on.

"Only you can soothe those tears. Only you, Aoshi. Will you still run from the truth? Will you blame the four that died for you? Hide behind symbolic glory, embrace death? Find your soul. Call back the courage that you lost. It's time to restart the life that stopped at Kanryu mansion. It's time to wake up Aoshi!"

Kenshin's speech also echos. It sounded warped in the echo, continuous and overlapping.

My brain processes everything. The four died. Probably defending Aoshi. Kenshin was there for some reason. Aoshi went after Kenshin because of this. Did Kenshin have anything to do with their deaths? Aoshi changed to defeat Kenshin here and now. And Kenshin was trying to fix that. Weird, but that fits. Kind of.

All this happened in a second.

My attention snapped back to the fight before me when Aoshi moved. This time he hit Kenshin in the side, sending the smaller man flying. Kenshin slid back, barely keeping to his feet.

Aoshi turned away. Was he done fighting?

"Aoshi...?" Kenshin asked warily, keeping a tight grip on his sword.

"You said move on. How can I if I still have a fight to finish?"

Kenshin smiled slightly. "This one never objected to finishing."

Aoshi turned at this point. My heart skipped a beat. His eyes had changed. They were that same vibrant blue that I remembered. He was back!

"Then, we'll finish."

Aoshi took a few steps forward, flipping both kodachi around. Kenshin sheathed his katana and got into a sword drawing stance. And the two stopped.

Aoshi was going to do the Rokuren. One of the most difficult moves in his arsenal. Six attacks all in an instant. I could barely understand how it was done, let alone do it. Let alone block it.

Kenshin was going to have to do a really fast draw to defeat it. Faster than the battojitsu I've seen him do.

Good luck Kenshin.

They stood that way for several minutes. They were at a stalemate. I barely blinked. I knew it would be over in an instant, and I didn't want to miss it.

Then, Aoshi dashed forward. His kodachi came up. Just as the blade was centimeters from Kenshin's neck, the red head disappeared. Yeah, really, truly disappeared. One second he was standing there, about to be cut to ribbons, the next he was standing behind Aoshi, sword drawn.

Aoshi fell backwards, landing heavily on the ground.

"Again, a paper thick margin," Kenshin murmurs, standing and re-sheathing his sword.

"That was one thick sheet of paper," Aoshi replies.

Aoshi lost. I can't believe it. Aoshi lost to Kenshin.

And since Kenshin was here, fighting Aoshi, that means that he stood Kaoru up to fight. Kaoru would have to be informed of this in one way or another.

Without thinking, I leave the building as quietly as possible. I found a high place to keep watch from while I send Kaoru a text. _Cheer up. ur bfs fine._

I don't get a reply before Kenshin appears. He's alone.

I drop down beside him, loud enough for him to hear. I don't want to scare him half to death. I'd probably regret that.

He glances back at me. I don't think he was surprised to see me standing there. "Fancy running into you here, Misao-dono."

"That it is," I agree, smiling. I enjoyed pulling that term out randomly. It's his fault.

We were silent for a moment, gauging what we wanted to say, how much we wanted to let on to knowing.

"How's Aoshi-sama?" I ask finally.

Kenshin hesitated. "He will be fine, that he will. With this one's blade like it is, the wounds are not bad. However..."

"However what? Aoshi will be fine, won't he."

"Yes. But this one would like to borrow him for a while."

I raise an eyebrow. That sounds a little demented. "Borrow for what?"

"This one apologizes Misao-dono. This one has said to much." Kenshin bows before starting off again.

"Hey, Kenshin!" I run to catch up and walk beside him. "You can't do that. What do you want him for."

Kenshin remains silent.

"I'm gonna start thinking of some pretty weird things if you don't tell me."

Kenshin stops, thinking. He knows which way this is going. "Shishio Makoto is planning something. Something bad."

"Shishio is always up to something. That's nothing new. I mean, sure he's been a little more uppity lately, but it's nothing too big. Wait, are you thinking of taking him on? Alone?"

"Now, this one isn't allowed to go alone. Sano insisted..."

"You are! You're taking on Shishio and the Jupongatana! I'll help! If I tell Kaoru, I know she'll want to too. And..."

"Misao-dono, this one will not allow you nor Kaoru-dono to be involved. Shishio Makoto is far too dangerous."

I pout. "No fair. I wanna fight."

"Aoshi has already agreed, that he has. This one felt permission was needed. In Okina-dono's stead, this one asks you."

I walk to stand in front of him. I point a finger at him so he won't say anything to interrupt. "I should say only on two conditions, but you already said no to the first one. So, only on one. You go and make things up to Kaoru."

"Ah! Kaoru-dono. This one forgot." Kenshin took a few hurried steps away. "Aoshi will be fine on his own right now. This one promises his return. Thank you, Misao-dono." He bowed quickly and hurried off.

Satisfied that my best friend was going to be fine, I headed back into the parking structure to check up on Aoshi.

But...he was gone. I hate it when he does that.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

I went home after that.

Kaoru sent me a thank you text, and I let her be. I'm sure she was busy.

Then, my waiting began once more.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Monday, Kenshin wasn't at school. I was a little worried, but Kaoru said he was fine. I told her that there was a fight about to go down (though I didn't mention with who) and of course she wanted to be there as well. She tried to call Kenshin to tell him, but he didn't answer the phone.

She even swung by his house to see if she could talk some sense into him, but he wasn't there.

I couldn't find Kenshin or Aoshi, though I looked. I couldn't help but worry.

I bet it was part of Kenshin's plans. Disappear so the girls don't get involved.

That bastard. Next time I see him I promised to hit him. Teach him to think girls aren't tough.


	4. You're Not Alone

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 4 - You're Not Alone

I lasted one week waiting alone. That week was gloomy from my end, and slowly Kaoru started getting that way too.

Sometime during that week, Sano disappeared. Megumi was the only one not phased by this.

Kaoru and I spent our breaks fretting. When we went home, we tried to distract ourselves from the loneliness and the worry. Needless to say, we failed.

I figured that it would take a week for Aoshi and Kenshin to heal well enough to fight. Sano must have left because they needed him for planning. That sounds stupid, since Sano's idea of a plan would be to go in, guns blazing. It might have been a week trying to convince him otherwise. Or, they didn't want him leaking anything to us.

After that first week, another passed.

I listened to the clicks in school, trying to glean an ounce of information as to the whereabouts of our boys. I tore apart the newspapers, checked the news. I figured something would have to be there if there was a big gang fight.

But, none came.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

It was late Saturday night. Kaoru and I were sitting on the couch at Megumi's place. She had gotten fed up with our moping and demanded a girl's night. Therefore, it was no surprise to see a pile of chocolate wrappers on the table in front of us.

We had been trying to get absorbed in a horror flick. Yeah, it's kinda funny watching horror movies with Kaoru. She tends to get a little jumpy. Me, I think they're kinda lame, but it's fun to watch with others, especially Kaoru.

Megumi had set up the movie so she could take a shower. Unlike me, she thinks they're stupid and lame, so she doesn't want anything to do with them.

It was all fine and good until there was a knock on the door. Kaoru and I start to freak out. The zombies are coming for us!

"Meg! Meg! Open the door!" a voice calls weakly.

Kaoru and I look at each other, then to the chocolate wrappers. Figment of our imagination?

"Maybe we shouldn't eat that much chocolate..." I whisper.

Kaoru nods.

A loud single pound. "Megumi! Open the god damned door!"

Megumi comes out of the bathroom, hastily dressed with her hair wrapped in a towel.

"Can't either of you do something as simple as opening a door?" she snaps as she goes to do so.

Kaoru and I look at each other and huddle against the back of the couch, peering over the top. We can't see anything, but if a horde of zombies come, we'll know.

Megumi screamed. Well, not exactly a scream, but an inhaled shriek.

Kaoru and I jump the couch, ready to fend off the zombies.

"Inside, quickly," Megumi snaps.

Again, Kaoru and I exchange glances. Megumi wouldn't have invited zombies into her house.

And in walked our boys. Well, Sano sauntered in, supporting Kenshin. Kaoru cried out and went to him. Together, her and Sano get Kenshin further into the house. Behind them, Aoshi limped in, supporting himself with the sheathed double kodachi.

"You're going to the hospital," Megumi states.

"No we ain't!" Sano replies loudly.

"Look at this! Ken-san's unconscious, that guy can barely walk, and what the hell did you do to your hand?" Megumi shouts.

"We shouldn't go to the hospital," Aoshi reasons quietly.

"Meg, we can't!" Sano shouts, oblivious to what Aoshi said. "They usually ask questions! How 'm I supposed to tell them I punched a bunch o' people and my hand exploded. Damn, lots of shit exploded!"

Megumi glared at her rooster head for a good minute."Open the couch bed," Megumi orders.

Kaoru and I hurry to do as we're told.

After that, time sped by. Everything was so hectic that time fused.

The three of us worked hard to get their wounds patched. Megumi had a ton of medical texts lying around. All I had was the "How to treat minor cut and lacerations" half memorized. So between the three of us and the books, we had a lot of work to do.

Sano was pretty much a pile of bruises and cuts. I blame it on his "love" for defense. It doesn't exist. He also annihilated his right hand. Yeah, a punch that decreases resistance in other objects does the same thing to your hand. Thus, hand explodes. He also had a pretty good dent in his forehead. It bled a lot. He said he was having a tough time with his right eye. Go figure.

Aoshi's injuries were different. Some nicks, a few bruises. A big gash in his right thigh. A half healed ditch running down his chest. (Yes, Aoshi shirtless. If only I had time to stare.) A lot of half healed cuts. From his fight with Kenshin, I think. A single burn/cut across his chest.

Kenshin had some burns covering half of his body. They weren't real serious. I'd gotten worse from pouring tea. Those were just the half of it, though. A really deep gash across his back. He had a good part of the skin on his left shoulder, at the base of his neck, torn off. It was all tattered and gross. He had been stabbed in the side. Nothing vital hit, but it added to the severity of recovery. Several slashes had been cauterized already, wounds sealed by flame. The right half of Kenshin's chest was charred, as if an explosive had hit him. A pretty bad bruise on his head. On top of this, he also was recovering from the fight with Aoshi. An older shoulder wound had been reopened. There was one on each side of his neck, and a deep cut on his left hand.

We worked hard, to say the least. Wrapping wounds, putting on antiseptics and stuff. Megumi did a little bit of stitching on the largest wounds.

Finally, Megumi ordered one last check over.

Since she has everything under control, I head to the kitchen. As tired as I was, I need something to drink. Tea.

There, I found Kaoru leaning over the sink looking sick. She had disappeared a little while ago, but I had been a bit busy to mention anything.

"You ok?" I ask.

Kaoru nodded.

Not really believing her, I start some hot water. As I take five coffee cups down from the shelves, I talk. "They'll be fine." I'm not even one hundred percent sure it's true, but it sounded convincing to me.

"He should have told me they were going to do this today," Kaoru mumbles.

"Yeah, that would be nice," I reply fancifully. What did she expect? We had been in the dark for two weeks, the day they tried to kill themselves shouldn't matter.

"Kenshin...Kenshin is close to dying. What if he does? What if Sano hadn't been there to carry..."

I cut off her frantic rambling. "Kaoru, no what ifs. They're here now, that's all that matters."

"But...next time..."

"Next time we'll find out everything, and we'll be there to help. If we have to, we'll remind them of how well this turned out."

"Kenshin still might die. Megumi said so. We're not advanced enough to do this. We're only high schoolers!"

I put a hand on Kaoru's shoulder. "He'll pull through. He's to strong to die here. Besides, he's got you by his side."

"Misao..." Kaoru buries her face in my shoulder, crying. No surprise with how this night (or is it this morning?) is going.

"Besides, if he died, we'll find some way to bring him back so we could soundly thrash him!"

"Misao," Kaoru stopped crying, looking at me with that expression that says "you're weird."

The water whistles. Kaoru helps me make hot beverages. I make tea for Aoshi and myself. Hot chocolate for Kaoru. Coffee for Megumi and Sano.

"After this, I am sooo ready for sleep," I decide as I gather three of the cups, balancing carefully.

"Me too," Kaoru agrees, picking up the other two.

Together we walk out of the kitchen, trying not to spill.

Aoshi was leaning back against the couch, positioned in the corner as best as he could. He opens his eyes to check what was going on before closing them again.

Kenshin's lying in the middle, still unconscious.

Megumi and Sano were at the opposite side. Megumi was finishing up wrapping Sano's exploded hand. Sano was still bitching. Megumi muttered something in a steely voice that I couldn't hear. I assume it's nothing good when Sano shuts up. About time.

"We have drinks," I inform the two when Megumi finishes. Kaoru and I hand out their drinks. Kaoru sits on the side edge of the couch-bed, near Kenshin.

I sidle up to Aoshi. "Aoshi-sama," I ask quietly.

"Misao," he replies quietly. He still looks like he's asleep.

"I brought you some tea. You should drink it before you sleep."

"I will not be sleeping."

I frown, confused for a moment. Then I remember. Aoshi doesn't sleep around other people. He dozes. Not really asleep, but on the boundary line of it. Restoring energy without being caught unawares.

"You should drink it anyway," I reply.

He opens his eyes finally. He leans forward and offers his hand out. I give him the tea.

"Thank you." He takes a sip. "Misao, you have improved."

I blush slightly, proud of the compliment.

"In ten years, I should have."

Together, we drink our tea.

When he is finished, Aoshi mutters, "I'm sorry Misao." Then he leans back, dozing again.

I don't know what he's sorry for. It doesn't matter. Whatever it was, it is forgiven. As long as he stays by me, anything he does will always be forgiven.

I take one final sip of my tea. I can't remember what it used to taste like.


	5. Run to Me

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 5 - Run to Me

We skipped school Monday. All of us. We wanted to make sure the casualties would be fine.

Kenshin woke up long enough to eat. He crashed without a word as soon as he was done.

Kaoru cried with joy when Megumi decided that that was a good sign.

Later, I get a call from Jiya.

He was home from the hospital, finally, and he wanted to know where I was.

"And don't say school," he tacks on.

I don't know how he knows I wasn't at school. I don't ask. Instead I answer the question truthfully. "I'm at Megumi's. And...don't freak out or anything, but Aoshi's here too."

Silence. I thought the shock of the information may have given Jiya a heart attack. Crap. Then, "What have you two been doing?"

Knowing Jiya, I know where his mind went. Yeah, of course I had sex with a guy I just bumped into again. For crying out loud, I'm sixteen! So, I tell the truth again. "Nothing."

Silence again. Jiya must be weighing the words, testing the truth. "Let me talk to him."

I scowl at the phone. "No, he's sleeping," I lie. I don't want to cause any disputes right now. "Look, I'll be home later. Don't call me back." And I hang up. Polite, I know. I'm going to get it later for that. I wait a minute to see if getting it later would be now, but Jiya doesn't call back.

I had taken the call outside, to be polite. Kaoru and Megumi had stepped out for a bit, to get some groceries. As I open the door to go back in, I hear the not uncommon shouting of Sano.

"Meg said take it easy, damn it!" A pause. "Aren't you listening, Shinomori? Meg said..."

"I know."

By this time, I'm in the room. "Aoshi-sama?" I ask.

He's standing, almost. He's leaning against the back of the couch to keep weight off of his injured leg. And he looks slightly annoyed, which is saying something.

"I have no desire to stay here. I was leaving," Aoshi replies to my unvoiced question.

"Oh. Leaving to where?"

"Home. To Okina's."

I nod, smiling slightly. "I just got off the phone with Jiya. I told him that we were coming."

Aoshi looked down, consumed with regret. Did he just realize what going home meant?

"It's fine. He didn't sound to angry on the phone. He wanted to talk to you, that's all."

Still Aoshi doesn't look to sure.

"Che, what's you're problem now, Shinomori. You're up and about now, you might as well get lost," Sano adds his two cents.

Aoshi glances over at Sano. I can tell he realizes that if he doesn't leave now, he'll be stuck with the bird head. It's enough to drive anyone crazy.

"I can't bring my kodachi out. I'm leaving them here."

I can't figure out what that has to do with anything for a moment. Then, it hits me. Swords in public are bad. I walk over to his side. "You can lean on me, then."

"Thank you."

"Oi, Rooster. Tell Megumi we're going home. And don't touch the swords. They're sharp and pointy, and I don't think you know which end to grab."

"Yeah yeah. You take your ice block and get lost weasel."

I growl, never pleased when that nickname gets mentioned. Sano's lucky I can't do anything since I have Aoshi leaning against me.

Now, I'm not exactly tall. At sixteen, I barely come up to Aoshi's ribs. Yeah, that's how it is. Of course, Aoshi is pretty tall anyway. But, needless to say this height difference makes it a real pain in the ass to support him. I feel bad about it, but there's nothing I can do.

We get out the door just fine. Megumi lives on the second floor of her apartment complex. There's a crappy elevator incase the handicapped people want to be on the top floor. So, I head towards it.

Aoshi seems to realize this. He pulls back, and I almost fall over. "Misao, no."

"Eh? An elevator's easy."

"I don't like elevators." He says it in a way that makes it final.

No elevator. Fine. I don't really like them either. So, I resign myself to the painstaking descent down the stairs.

Again, my height really sucks for this. So, this slows our descent further. Those twenty six steps feel like six stories.

Once we get to the bottom, we take a short break. I can tell Aoshi is in pain, but I know if I ask, he'd deny it.

"Should we take the bus home?" I ask.

"People will wonder why you aren't in class right now."

"Right..." That and the fact that Aoshi doesn't like busses either. Or technology in and of itself for that matter.

So, we walk. Aoshi keeps his hand on my shoulder, pushing down whenever he steps forward.

I know people are still wondering. Shouldn't she be in school? What's she doing with that man? Is he hurt? Why don't they go to the hospital?

After a long while, we finally make it home.

I live with Jiya in a decent neighborhood, in a single story home. There are a ton of added on rooms from back in the ninja training days, but now the rooms serve as storage. Somehow, we managed to collect a lot of junk. Because of all these rooms, it makes it easy when a friend needs to stay.

I open the door and we half sneak inside. The door clicks shut and Jiya bursts into the room, fit as a fiddle.

"Misao-chan, you're back! Oh...Aoshi..."

Aoshi nods. I can feel the tension build in the air.

Jiya walks over and puts a hand on Aoshi's shoulder. "Welcome back."

And just like that the tension is lifted. Jiya continues, "You've had a long absence. Tell me, what have you been up to?"

Ok, so we're pretending that little incident never happened. Great.

"Mou, Jiya! Let us get inside before you start interrogating him!"

"Oh, yes. My mistake." Jiya moves to the side and we go into the living room. With a small grimace of pain, Aoshi settles down on the couch.

Jiya sits on the other couch, smiling. "Misao, make tea," he demands.

"Why do I gotta?" I ask right away on impulse. Damn old man. I'm home for five seconds and he's already ordering me around. It's stupid. I know they're going to talk about everything, and I wanna know too. This is what I get for hanging up on him.

"You have to because you're ditching school and won't be excused unless you do."

Damn it, that's a low blow. I scowl. We have a little standoff. I give in with a huff and go into the kitchen to make the damn tea. I make a lot of noise in hope of forcing them not to talk. When the kettles on, I try to listen in to their conversation. The nonexistent conversation. Are they lip reading? Damn them. That's the one thing I never got the hang of.

When the tea is ready, I pour it in the kitchen and take it to them.

"Aoshi, hasn't Misao improved in her tea making?" Jiya practically brags.

"Yes."

Duh, I know this. He said so last night when he was half-pretending-to-be-asleep-but-not-really-asleep.

"Remember when she was five? How she used to make it out of mud?"

"Jiya!" Did I really do that? How stupid! And why does he remember that?

"I suppose anything is an improvement from that, ne?" Jiya laughs loudly.

At this time, I go to sit at the table in front of them.

"Misao, why don't you tidy up a room for Aoshi?"

"Why do I have to now?"

"I know how you are. You don't want him staying in Kaoru's room, do you?"

"Why can't you do it?"

"I've been forbidden from any strenuous activities for another month. You wouldn't want to force Aoshi to clean out a room."

"No." Especially because he can barely stand.

"So be a dear and go clean one out."

I make a face so that he knows I don't like this. Then I storm out of the room for good measures.

Cleaning a room when you aren't thinking about it is bad. Dangerous. Don't ever do it. I almost got eaten by it. After that, I concentrate solely on cleaning it up.

Hours later, Jiya comes to get me for supper. The room is pretty clean, by my standards.

Supper was quiet, though it wasn't uncomfortable. Jiya was pensive, thank goodness. Other wise he'd be picking on me for this or that. It's what he does.

Aoshi was Aoshi. Silent by nature.

Me, I was wondering, as I had been all day, what they had talked about. I tried to glean a hint off of expressions, but I got nothing.

I went to my room after supper. Worked on my homework. Boring stuff that anyone has to do in life.

The one conversation I get to hear is a quiet debate. Who was going to talk to me, if they were going to talk to me. They'd better.

I was surprised when it was Aoshi who knocked and entered my room.

I offer him my bed to sit on as I pretend to tidy up. It used to be waiting before, but now that Aoshi's back, I'm cleaning like crazy.

"Misao, sit. There are things you need to hear."

I sit on the corner of the bed, fidgeting. I hate those lines. They always spell DOOM, capital letters and all.

Aoshi waited until I settled down.

"Back then, we were hired out. Hannya, Beshimi, Hyottoko, Shikijo and I. It was a body guard assignment. Everything was fine for a while. But now...they're gone Misao. They died, protecting me. I could do nothing but watch."

"Aoshi-sama..." I crawl across the bed and wrap my arms around his neck. I hope it comforts him.

"Something within me died. I felt I couldn't live without them, but something held me back from suicide. I thought it was wanting to prove us as the best, but..." He paused, thinking. "I did attack Okina. I was trying to erase myself from the world. A part of me must have known I didn't want that, that's why he's still alive."

I nod my head. My eyes are surprisingly dry. I had figured out the truth about the other four. Now, I felt no need to cry. Maybe it was because Aoshi was here.

"So...I'm sorry, Misao. For everything."

That almost got me. I hug him tighter, burying my face against his neck. Still managing not to cry.

"It's all in the past, Aoshi-sama. Besides, it all worked out for the best."

"Did it?"

"Yes. You're home."

After that, the mood lightened. Aoshi asked me about my schooling and I told him about everything.

Soon, it was ten. Aoshi took leave so I could get ready for bed.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

School the next day was brighter for me. Kaoru didn't think so, but that's understandable. Her boy friend was barely staying conscious.

Plus, there are rumors. And with the way the minds of youth work, it isn't hard to believe where they go. Since we can't tell the truth without getting the boys in trouble, denial is our next best friend. Even if it doesn't work. So, Kaoru was denying the fact that she slept with Kenshin, and the red head was so knocked up he couldn't come to school today. Megumi got them too, but she didn't say anything, which leads everyone to think that they're right. Megumi really doesn't care.

Yeah, you gotta love school.

Megumi came for the first half of the day, mostly to catch up on school work. At lunch she went back home to check up on Kenshin and Sano. Kenshin was still out of it, though he tried to stay awake for a few minutes. Sano was still Sano.

After school, Kaoru headed over to Megumi's. Pleasantly alone, I run home to see Aoshi.

"I'm home!" I shout as I walk through the door way.

"Welcome back, Misao!" Jiya calls. Soon, he's walking into the room.

"Where's Aoshi?" I ask.

"Why yes Misao, I had a very nice day. Thank you for asking."

"Sorry Jiya. I'm glad to hear you had a good day."

"Aoshi is on the back porch."

"Thank you."

Per usual, I start tea. Around my house, we drink tea like water. Plain, normal green tea. Well, I have a ton and a half of sugar in mine, but, that's not the point.

"Has he eaten anything?" I ask, going through the fridge. I'm always hungry after school.

"Not since breakfast."

As I make sandwiches, I wonder what he's been doing all day if he skipped eating. When the tea is done, I balance the cups and the two plates and take them out to the back porch.

I think it's kind of funny. Aoshi looks like he's meditating, but one leg is straight out while the other is folded. Because he's injured, I won't make fun of him. I probably wouldn't anyway, but if he weren't injured, he wouldn't be sitting like that.

"Aoshi-sama, I brought a snack," I offer.

I get no reply. No sign that he even heard me.

I set the plates and the tea down and crouch beside him. I look up into his face. His eyebrows are furrowed slightly. His eyes are closed. He's thinking.

"What cha doin'?" I ask, even though I pretty much know.

Finally he opens his eyes. "Thinking."

See? I knew. I lean back. "About what?"

"What I did. And...what I should do now."

"Oh. Good luck with that." I don't mean anything by it. Most people take offense when I say that about such a serious matter, but not Aoshi. "Well, thinking's no good on an empty stomach. I made you a sandwich. Will you eat it?"

"In a while."

"Mind if I sit with you?"

"Go ahead."

I sit for a while. Meditating is hard. If the goal is to clear your mind, I can't. So, I guess I can't really meditate. No wonder Aoshi told me he was thinking, not meditating.

So, instead of meditating, I start trying to focus my thinking. I told myself that I would figure out my feelings if Aoshi came back, so that's my topic. How do I feel about the man sitting next to me?

Affection. Whether sisterly affection or love-intrest affection is vague, but there is affection.

Comforted, because he's here with me in one piece.

A small bit of concern, because he's a holy piece.

Maybe fear, deep down inside. Fear that he won't always be there.

And hungry. Because a sandwich was sitting in front of me with my name on it, and all I'm doing is thinking.

Hungry, so my stomach states loudly.

Aoshi turns to look at me. "We can eat now."

I pick up a plate hand hand it to him. "I don't know what you like on them, so it's just a turkey and cheese sandwich with a little mayo."

"That's fine."

We eat quietly for a while. Aoshi asks me about school, and I tell him.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Soon, this became a daily routine. Something to eat and tea when I came home from school. How the day went. I'd go do homework. Maybe help with supper. The three of us would sit for dinner, while I recounted my day for Jiya's sake. Aoshi was probably bored with it, but he never said anything about it. Then I'd shower, read some, go to sleep. Wake up the next morning and run to school after grabbing breakfast to go. Go through school, go home, and start all over again.

By the end of the first week, Sano was back at school. Kenshin was awake by then, but Megumi wanted him resting for a while. He went to his house the weekend of week one. Halfway through week two, Kenshin came back to school. With a fake doctor's note that Megumi wrote, I noticed.

When Kenshin came back, we were graced with the story. Exciting, right?

So, we knew that Shishio had this gang around our part of town. We knew that he was involved in several small crimes.

What Kenshin had found out was that Shishio was going to set fire to our city. Kenshin, being the noble person that he is, stepped in to stop that.

Shishio targeted Kenshin. Part of the reason Kenshin didn't come around for a while.

I think it was for my sake, but Kenshin mentioned Aoshi's role in this as well. Shishio had some information (Kenshin brushed over this, whether for our safety or because he didn't know) that Aoshi wanted. Aoshi ended up meeting with Kenshin, they fought, Aoshi lost and joined Kenshin.

So, Kenshin, Aoshi, Sano and some undercover cop named Saito Hajime (No mention as to what he was doing.) broke their way through the rank of Shishio's thugs. They were easy until they hit the Jupongatana. The Jupongatana were ten of Shishio's top fighters. Technically nine because one was brainy, but that was it. Maybe eight since one was dumb and ran away.

Somehow, between the four of them, they manage to beat the eight Jupongatana. Then, all that was left was Shishio, Shishio's woman, and a man who probably was supposed to be the strategist but did nothing but yap. Technically only Shishio.

Kenshin fought against Shishio until he got knocked out. Saito launched a surprise attack which failed. Sano tried to use his Futae no Kiwami, but failed miserably. Aoshi fought. He did the best out of the three.

I was proud. I had bragging rights. Well, if I could actually say that Aoshi was my boy friend I would. But, still, I was very proud to hear that.

Anyway, Aoshi managed to buy enough time, that Kenshin got back into the fight. Kenshin was about to unleash his ultimate attack (the one where he disappears) when Shishio dropped a bomb.

Not a gigantic explosion. Lots of flames. Shit flying everywhere. Buildings collapsed. Yeah, fun stuff. Maybe I'm not as pissed that I wasn't there.

Somehow, they all manage to get out. Saito disappears. Big deal.

Sano figured they would have the best bet going to Megumi's, since she was training to be a doctor. They didn't figure Kaoru and I would be there. And, we know the rest.

I wish I could have seen that fight. It sounded like it was intense!

Anyway, life resumed a quiet boring pace. I like it, even if it is boring. Because, peace isn't bad. It beats waiting.


	6. On Your Own

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 6 - On Your Own

Of course, peace can only last so long. Those who live the life of a fighter know this.

Fortunately, it only really affected one of us.

Unfortunately, it was me.

My peace lasted until I finished my imitation, half-assed meditating. Really, my thinking.

I had come to a conclusion. A miracle, that I came to a conclusion.

I love Aoshi for Aoshi. As my brother, as a replacement father from when I was six, as a lover.

It's screwed up, I know. I have a brother complex. So what?

If I see him as a father, it's because he's the only one I really remember taking care of me until he left. But, he's only ten years older than me, so he can't be my father. That problem solved.

So, there's no reason I can't be his girlfriend. Yes, I know I mentioned a ten year difference. But, again, so what? Age is just a number that gets in the way.

Yes, I decided that I love Shinomori Aoshi. And I was going to tell him and see where it went from there.

So I wait. I want to tell him at the best time. I would have done it while we ate lunch, but I thought it up then. Over supper, hell no. Not with Jiya watching. So my only option was before bed.

I sit up and wait for him to walk down the hall to his room. I was thinking of shanghaiing him when he walks past.

But I get a knock on the door that I wasn't expecting.

Thinking it might be Jiya, I leap onto my bed and pull my book out. Pretend I'm reading. "Yeah?"

The door opens. Aoshi walks in, closing it quietly behind him. "Misao, I need to talk to you."

My heart leaps. Did he reach the same conclusion I reached? "Sure," I reply casually.

He remains standing in the center of my room. He looks towards the floor. "Misao, the world is a dangerous place."

"Sure it is. You have nut-cases out there. People like Shishio." I sit on the edge of my bed, watching. Already I don't know if I like where this is going.

"Exactly." He looks up, confident. "I have the power to make the world a better place."

Yeah, I don't like where this is headed. I'm confused. "How?" I ask. Yeah. Intelligent. It was all I could come up with. So sue me. I resort to one liners when I get confused. Usually when it's a crucial moment, like this seems to be.

"I'm going to find those that threaten peace and get rid of them. Then, the world will be safe for you."

I frown. Maybe it's more of a pout. I stand and step closer. That sounds...stupid. It doesn't make any sense. And Aoshi never doesn't make sense. "I'd feel safer if you were by my side."

"It is the conclusion I reached. I have already told Okina. I'm leaving tonight."

"Why?" There are tears in my eyes. Again. I grab on to his sleeve, as if it would make him stay. "Stay with me. Don't fight for world peace. It doesn't exist. You're fine the way you are. Please, don't leave me." I plead. It sounds pathetic. My mind continues, but I don't say what it says. Is there something wrong with me? Is it because of me that you're leaving again? Am I unbearable to be around? I love you. Isn't that enough?

I wonder if I would have said any of those things, if it would have changed his mind.

Lightly, he pries my hand off his sleeve. He looks away again. "I'm sorry, Misao. This is my answer. So, I'm sorry. Good bye."

And he turns and walks out of the room. Straight out. He doesn't stop, turn around, anything. He just leaves.

I stand, shocked. Once again, I'm numb to the world. Once again it has shattered. Tears drip down my face.

My brain shakes itself alive. He's not going to leave, I decide. He'll realize how much I need him, and he'll stay.

I sit on my bed, curtain raised slightly. I watch the door.

An hour passes. I think I might be safe. I must be right. He's staying.

The motion sensor light comes on. I freeze. A shadow passes through the light. A tall shadow.

And then I knew it was final. He was gone again.

I was allowed only a month of peace, where the one I love remained at my side. One month of peace before it was ripped away from me once again.


	7. On and On

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 7 - On and On

Two years pass. Somehow, I managed to pick myself up out of the depression and move on. I graduated high school with honors. Kaoru, Kenshin and I attend a community collage together.

Those two are engaged. They want to be closer to each other, but they don't want to take it to fast. Marriage would be a little fast. So they are firmly engaged.

Megumi moved off to go to a prestigious medical school. Sano moved with her and is currently infesting her apartment. As for their relationship, they have no solid plans. I wouldn't be surprised if they never got married.

Me, on the other hand, I'm still me. I've grown taller, developed a little more (but not a lot. Let's just say, I'm not a complete stick figure anymore.), and I'd like to think I have matured emotionally.

And the collage boys see this. I have been asked on five dates. Five dates, four guys. No kisses.

The one I dated twice told me, after the second date, that he only wanted sex. What a dumb ass. Well, bye bye looser.

One of the others was sweet, but boring. I think he just wanted to study, nothing serious. Lame.

Another wanted a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend. I.e, he'd go for any girl, and sex was probably involved. Double lame.

The last...I don't know. There was just something about him that just didn't sit right with me.

That's it. End of story.

So, that's me now. Single. Alone. Hopeless. Need I go on?

Kaoru keeps telling me to keep trying.

I know she means well.

She tells me I'll find someone.

I had. Just when I realized that, he left me to make the world safe. I lost out to world peace.

The worst part is, I know Aoshi's still out there. Every once in a while, he'd stop by Jiya's place. I think he has me scouted out, so he knows when I'm at school. Then, he visits Jiya, chats, who knows. I'm never there.

So, I think I'll get a cat. Maybe a couple cats. When I'm alone, there'll be a whole fleet of them. And I'll be that single bitter old woman with the billion and one cats. I hope Aoshi knows that.

Kaoru laughs when I tell her that. I swear it's true.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Finals. I love collage finals. Weird, I know. But I'm not stuck at school all day, so I love them. I can go home and rot in front of the tv.

Except when I get home, I loose all desire of rotting while watching tv. I'd rather rot watching who was in front of the tv.

My bag drops on the ground, spilling the contents. I barely realize this. I stare opened mouthed because Shinomori Aoshi is actually here when I am.

I think Jiya's giving me this strange look. I can barely see him out of the corner of my eye.

But, Aoshi's looking at me as if nothing is wrong. Like it was natural for him and Okina to be chatting over tea in front of that damned tv. It's not even on!

"Misao, I'm sure you remember Aoshi," Okina prompts.

I swallow, finally closing my mouth.

And I split. Half of me wants to jump for joy. Run up to Aoshi, hug him, and welcome him back. The other half wants him to act first.

And the second half wins. Aoshi was right. There was nothing wrong with the two of them discussing things over tea.

I gather up my supplies. I admit, I might have been trying to show of what little curvature I have. I'm sinking lower and lower by the second. But, who cares?

Once everything is back in my bag, I bow. "Sorry for the interruption."

Simple. No real feeling. No remorse. I didn't care if I was interrupting something. I didn't care about anything.

And I stalk to my room. I didn't give a second look back.

Am I stupid? Dumb? Retarded? Have I lost all desire to be with him?

No. The love is still there. Still strong. But again, who cares?

Aoshi wasn't here to see me. I don't know why he was here, but it sure as hell isn't to see me.

Forcing myself to believe this is safer. He would be gone tomorrow, if not within the hour. He might be leaving now, because I'm here.

I lie on my bed, book in hand. My English final is tomorrow. Can't go failing that.

I read. The same words over and over. Actually, it's the same line.

I'm listening for any sound that might give me a clue. Nothing. I get silence.

I'm the only one on the face of this planet. I think this planet's heading for a black hole. That's why there's only me. Because this planet is about to be sucked into a black hole, and all the sensible people are gone. All the people who care. A black hole would be nice. A demented existence.

Wait, that's what I'm living right now.

A door opens and shuts. I can't tell from where. I'm halfway into a black hole. I was supposed to be alone.

A knock on the door. Now, I'm teetering on the edge of falling in a black hole. Whoever was on the other side of the door would do one of two things. Pull me back from the edge or push me over.

Now I remember. I'm not exactly teetering over a black hole. I'm sitting on my bed, in a room, in the same house I've lived in for almost eighteen years, reading a stupid book that has only one line and no meaning, on the planet earth. Not exactly the edge of a black hole.

I remain silent, unsure if I even want to talk.

"Misao-chan..."

It was Jiya.

"Yes," I ask tersely, calmly.

The door opens. Okina walks in, closes it.

"Misao-chan..." he starts.

I'm still pretending to read. "Jiya, I'm almost eighteen. Please stop calling me Misao-chan." I've never had a problem with it before. Right now it just irks me. Maybe because I am almost eighteen.

Jiya sighs. "Misao," he starts again, leaving honorifics aside. "What's wrong."

"Nothing." Light. I'm perfectly innocent. I'm not lying to your face. I've just been stopped on the edge of a black hole.

"You're acting strange. Different."

"Odd. I feel no different." Yeah, bull shit. I get all the cards in the pile.

"Aoshi will be staying with us for a while."

"That's nice." I think he was expecting something. I'm still maintaining that I-don't-care attitude. I'm thinking though.

No, not hopeful thinking. Aoshi must have gotten hurt again. He's staying so he can recuperate. Then he'll be off again. Because I might as well not exist. I might as well be in that black hole.

"I took the liberty of inviting him to your eighteenth birthday party. I hope you don't mind."

"Nope. No problem." I almost laugh. Aoshi at a party. Come on. He barely can stand to be in a room with three other people. Let's try a room with three other people, plus Sano, and add loud music. Yeah, that's gonna happen.

"Well, I see you're studying. That's all I needed to tell you."

"Thank you Jiya."

Jiya left the room.

And it was complete. I am now a cold hearted, contradicting bitch. So be it. I will not be hurt when Aoshi was gone the next day.

A part of me was sickened. But I didn't care.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Needless to say, dinner was interesting.

I looked Aoshi straight on. Right in his eyes. Gorgeous eyes. So blue...damn it! Stop thinking like that!

Well, I smile softly. Maybe a little haughty. What is he going to do? I grew up while he was gone. And I can prove it.

Jiya tries starting up a conversation. I answer with only a few words. Soon, he gives up.

The air is frigid. I've never felt anything so cold. Never. I think about breaking it, but why? That would be putting to much trust that Aoshi would be here tomorrow.

Jiya leaves half way through dinner, saying he's not hungry. I continue to eat as if I am alone.

I may have looked up once or twice. Maybe. I definitely didn't see the look of confusion on his face, the hurt stirring in the depths of his ice blue eyes.

And I gave him no sign of the side of me that was dying. The side that was hurting more now than when he said goodbye and left.

I was not in pain.

I was only done eating when there was nothing else left out to eat. I gather the empty dishes, ignoring any of Aoshi's, and take them into the kitchen.

Then I went into my room to study for my test.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

Then next day, I don't tell Kaoru that Aoshi is back. I think my mood was a little damper than it usually is. Kaoru looked a little worried. Kenshin suspected something, but I know he didn't know what. How could he?

What I didn't know is that Aoshi wouldn't be gone when I got home. I didn't know that I would still be split, and the outer me thought nothing of it while the other me pinned.


	8. Outside Looking In

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 8 - Outside Looking In

My eighteenth birthday. One week after Aoshi came back. And he still hadn't left. I'm a little surprised

With Megumi and Sano coming out to celebrate, my mood brightened.

Maybe I was being spiteful. Daring. Yes, I was daring Aoshi to stay in the same room as me and my friends.

Maybe I should start a bet going. How long can he stay? Will he even come into the room?

I lost half of the bet. Aoshi stayed in the room, with the loud music on, with more than three people in it.

Of course, he stood in a corner, arms folded, watching. I admit I couldn't read his expression. So what?

Kenshin went over to talk to him. A short exchange of words. Kenshin walks away. He and Kaoru disappear for a few minutes.

Kaoru returns and comes up to me. "Misao, what are you doing?"

"What's it look like? I'm celebrating." Why? What does it look like I'm doing?

"What I mean is...what are you doing about Aoshi?"

"Well, he doesn't party." Obviously.

"Misao, that's not what I mean..."

"Kaoru, look. Have fun. Eat, drink, be merry. Don't worry about anything."

And I walk away.

Kenshin walks up and puts a hand on her shoulder. They talk and I see them look towards Megumi.

If she gets involved, it'll cause a scene. I don't need that.

So I walk over to Megumi and ask her about her schooling. Go ahead Kaoru. Talk to her while I'm standing right here.

I keep checking that corner. Just quick glances. I see he's still there, looking as unreadable as he has all day.

Tens of times.

Thousands of times.

Then, I look and he has an expression. I know the look he's wearing. I've been employing it myself lately.

The look that says I dare you.

I almost laugh. What's he going to do? Go to his room? Fine. See if I care.

Instead, he walks around, up to Kenshin. They talk.

Kenshin seems disrupted by what Aoshi says. Aoshi assures him, I think, judging by facial expressions on Kenshin's part. Aoshi looks my way. Confident. I see that smirk. I know it well from the days of sparring. I used to get my ass kicked when he smirked like that.

Not right now, though. I will not loose.

I watch as he walks away. Not to his room. Outside.

That got me a little surprised. I hadn't figured he go outside. It does make sense though.

But I'll wait. Kenshin would come tell me what Aoshi said in a matter of minutes.

I wouldn't give Aoshi the satisfaction of asking Kenshin. Kenshin will crack.

But he didn't. Kenshin stayed where he was, as uncomfortable as he was, for more than a few minutes.

Curiosity got the best of me. "What's up Kenshin?" I ask.

"It is raining outside, that it is."

Oh, clever. Real cute. "What did Aoshi say?" A casual tone. Nothing to be inferred.

"He said he was going out for some fresh air, that it was."

I smile. Triumph. I knew he couldn't hack it. I want to gloat. The infamous Okashira couldn't stick around for a party. Ha. I knew that he couldn't. Aoshi is weak! I could take this better than he could.

So I go outside, looking for him so that I can rub salt in the wound. Kenshin didn't lie when he said it was raining.

I tracked his movements from the roof tops. He wandered through the streets. He was going far for a bit of fresh air.

And then, he stops. In the dead center of a random alley. What a weird place to get fresh air. I wait for an opening. Any kind. I was going to improvise.

He raised a hand to brush his wet bangs out of his eyes.

And that was it. That may of well have been a signal.

I threw four kunai. I'm a ninja, remember? I don't think I specified that my specialty involved throwing things, but I have surprisingly good aim if I'm not joking around. Want proof?

They landed exactly where I wanted. Three pinning his arm to the wall behind him. One between his thumb and his forefinger, sticking into the fingerless glove that he wore. The other two were holding his sleeve hostage, one on either side of his arm. I'm positive I didn't draw blood. The last one was a warning. Centimeters from his forehead.

I hop off the roof. As I walk towards him, I see surprise, followed by confusion. He tried to pull free, but I had embedded them deep into the wall. Escape was impossible.

I smirk. "I knew you couldn't stand it, Aoshi. You always leave when things start getting good." I'm close now. Almost standing next to him.

He slips back to the unreadable mask. "So?" he asks. The same kind of so that I gave Jiya a week ago.

I pull out another kunai and stick it in the wall, pining his glove on the other side. I lean towards him. Despite my growing, he's still taller than me. I keep one hand on the kunai, and look up into his face.

"I know your type."

"Oh?"

His is simple, almost curious. He's asking how well I think I know him.

"You leave whenever you feel like it." My voice starts gaining intensity. "If something isn't going your way, something's too good, you'll leave. You don't care about the feelings of those around you. You don't care about me." I realize that this anger is the most emotion I have truly shown to him in a while. I stop, wondering. What all did I say? Oh, right. He doesn't care about me. "Do you?"

Aoshi sighs and looks away. Just as he did those two years ago before he said good bye.

I realize how close I am to him. I'm looking up at his eyes, through those dark bangs. I'm close enough to hear the steady cadence of his breathing, the even beat of his heart. I could feel warmth emanating off of him, despite his wet clothes.

I have a feeling he's letting me think he's stuck. Why, I don't know.

"I didn't know," he says after a while.

I almost forgot what I had asked. "I didn't know" doesn't make any sense. What the hell did he mean he didn't know? Know what?

That, despite all I had done this past week, the way I treated him, that I still wanted him by my side forever? No, forever no longer mattered. I just wanted this one moment.

As this dawns on my, I fall forward. I hide my face against his chest. I keep the one hand on my kunai. The other one helps me hide my face. I think I might be crying once again.

"Stay." It's a demand, thick with the tears I may or may not be crying. "If only for tonight, stay with me. Just this once, make me feel like I belong."

His free hand comes around me, settling around my shoulders. He pulls me tighter.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I shouldn't have left before."

And that did it. Something about this moment was so perfect to me.

It was just the two of us. Standing in the drizzle of rain. Holding each other.

Time froze somewhere in that rain. That single moment of time. It could have been endless.

The world could have been sucked into a black hole. If it had, I think we would have been spit out on the other side as one being.

The apocalypse couldn't touch us where we were.

For that second, that single moment, we were invincible. Immortal. Forever.

His arm relaxes slightly. I lean back and his hand comes up to keep me from leaving. Well, with the way he lightly allows his hand to rest against my head, I don't want to leave anyway. But his touch is just so comforting.

I look up into his eyes. Those eyes that are ice blue. I know I've said that. Those eyes are the gateway to his soul, his inner being. A place I don't even know he's aware of.

Before, they were sharp. A wall, keeping out anyone. But now, the hardness is gone. Now, it's like the sun shinning through icicles. Like fresh snow in the morning. There is an impossible warmth there. And I fall in love with it. I love him more for letting me see that warmth.

I think he was looking at me too. Figuring me out. He looks proud, maybe. Hell, I don't care what his expression is, because he seems so alive right now.

"You've grown Misao." A simple statement. He leans down and kisses my forehead.

I smile like I'm drunk. Life is great right now. I guess he was proud of me. Sweet.

Of course, I'm brilliant with my reply. "Huh?" Remember, I'm real intelligent at crucial moments. Plus I'm getting drunk off of life right now.

"Happy eighteenth birthday."

For half a second, I don't know what to expect.

Then, Aoshi leans down and catches my lips.

And time froze again. The rain didn't fall. The world no longer turned.

I could have died happy.


	9. Edge of Eternity

Can't Stop Loving You

Chapter 9 - Edge of Eternity

It has officially been one year.

Everyday, I wake up to breakfast. An hour before I have to be any where. Amazing what love can do. I sit at the table, by his side, simply eating. We have no need to talk. Always a simple kiss before I leave.

Jiya still can't believe it. I don't know why. It was kind of obvious, now that I think about it.

Megumi thinks I'm taking antidepressants, which I don't need.

Sano, being Sano, is dumb and doesn't matter.

Kenshin watches quietly with a knowing expression.

Kaoru says I glow.

I know those last two know why. Because I was in love, an love was returned.

It's because this was my story.

Deepening love and recovered loss.

Overcoming innocence and strengthening desire.

Secrets forged and betrayals overcome.

Where no hero needs to exist, but the villain is defeated anyway.

I know, because this was my story. And it has been completed.

...Can't Stop Loving You...

END

...Can't Stop Loving You...

An. Well, that was sweet. I cried writing the end. I normally don't do that for my fan fics, but...yeah. This was three days, partial insomnia.

The titles for the chapters, and the story...hehe. Some of the titles themselves don't quite make sense until you look at them in context. And the in context is the Nick Lachey songs for which they are named. - Betcha didn't see that coming. Nick just fits these two perfectly, so that's why I did it. So, yeah. If you hear the songs, it actually puts a little perspective on the chapters, hence the names.

This may be the first one like this. I may do a companion piece, based on Aoshi's POV, but it's a little tough for me to get started. Maybe if I get a lot of reviews...smiles evilly

Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this fic. If you read the whole thing, drop me a review. R&R PLEASE!!!!!


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